I.D.E.A.S & C.R.E.A.T.I.V.I.T.Y
Thought totally intrigues me. I complete continuous quality control assessments and am alllwaaays testing out the theories for a better option on mine- challenging customer! It's like I do a mental stocktake of what I think is true and what I think false, and anything that falls into the latter category is pulled out into the air and held up to the light to see whether it is substantial and can stay, or is flimsy and needs to be fixed, replaced or disposed of.
Our minds can heal or hurt us, and sometimes the 'care' signals of mine get a little lost in translation. I have complications and pretty awful pain in my lower lumbar due to fracturing vertebrae in my early twenties and a genetic condition, but only recently became aware of how I was hurting the area MORE by trying to protect it. I am super active and while out for my afternoon walk one day, I noticed how I was clenching my tummy muscles, and more so when walking down steep hills and how this was a direct relation to where the pain and discomfort was becoming worse. In short my worry and focus on that particular area was sending all the 'fight' signals to those sensitive muscles to jam up, and in the process get jared and jolted more because they were activated.
In another instance, I have been teaching myself to breathe on the left (or more unnatural) side while swimming freestyle. If I focused on breath, I would panic and think I didn't have enough air; to fix this I found if I focused on the bubbles I blew out before this my mind went into play rather than panic mode. If I sought looking for the ceiling behind me after the bubbles, it ironed out not turing my head up enough; if I tuned into the pull and follow through from the bottom left hand on stroke it brought me lift and stopped me feeling like I was sinking or bowed. Needing a bit more ooph came form remembering my feet and 'sparkling' through my fingertips and toes; straightening out my 'body plank' I had in my minds eye.
Self awareness, breath, meditation, the sports I love: motorbiking and snowboarding have all honed my awareness of mind play and how this effects my actions and psyche. It is ground zero for how I take on new skills and everyone can learn how to do it- the main component is tuning into something we do totally automatically: breathing followed by looking at the remedy not the problem; stand outside of yourself and look at the picture from another angle. The cool thing is, once you see the pattern and start playing with it, it effects EVERY single part of your life- from riding a bicycle handsfree and standing on one leg with eyes closed, to relationships and making things.
Anyone else noticed?- Kiwi's are hungry. Hungry for money, hungry for recognition, hungry for opportunity. Simmering under all of this is fear. People are scared to say what they think, be proud of what they have earned and achieved or draw a line in the sand over their value because social opinion and ruthless competition will pass them over or move them on. Then add a dash of self entitlement and the ‘yeah nah’, ‘I know so and so who can do it for 1/2 that or in exchange for..’; It is no wonder talent flys away when there is no incentive of worth to remain. Loyalty, gratitude and respect for professional accumulation of skill is few and farther between. Some people would sell their grandmother to get a leg up- some of them have to because they’re so far in a rock and hard place to live there is no other perceivable way.. or so they seem to think.. the ol’ ‘well that’s how it works, and that’s what ya gotta do’ excuse. Taking an alternative route to get the best result requires timing and courage- hold on down the rabbit hole! Most people achieve great things by working extremely hard over many many years to do what they do and there are always different options. Fantastic stories come from harnessing thought, honing the actions required in correlation with this, while being a valuable and positively engaged member of society. Choice: Team Darth or Team Luke.
I remember being told by a man who supported the arts, ‘You need to get off taking the moralistic high ground, because that attitude wont get you anywhere in this world’- well, I can sleep at night and ya know what- at the end of the day, THAT IS what defines me (the morals not the sleep)- and through this, what makes my art mine. Yes, I have a very strong sense of conscience, to follow Truth and trust my instincts and be guided by integrity- but I'm not up my ass about it or expecting others to feel the same. Art is opinion, emotion, what touches our core, what is provocative, what makes us think and question ourselves and our world. It doesn’t have to be agreeable, palatable or fit in a box either, and neither do I. Mother fucking snakes on a plane. You can choose your flight but not your snakes eh, thankfully in life we're not stuck on the plane permanently and have a lot of adventure and learning in-between our next flights!
In one of the most individualistic nations in the world, ironically the hardest thing is to be yourself.
Our society is becoming less democratic and much more authoritarian and directive. Home by 3am, don't smoke (excuse me, but perhaps the bigger problem is alcohol?! what about taxing that huh?!- you hit the sugar and messy birds with one stone there ya know, very few people get their lights punched out over a fag..), achieve this (but don't really because that’s rather intimidating), don't drink in parks or walk your dog between these times, use only this much of this, look, buy and wear this to be in… it’s so inteeeeeeenseee! Loosen up and relax and e.n.j.o.y. l.i.f.e perhaps without all the goddamn rules?!.. and people wonder why anxiety, low self worth and esteem is prevalent and suicide rates are high? Get off the high horse snobbery.
Humans need stuff to do to try and find coping mechanisms, when the cost of living is so goddamn high and everything is being labeled with opinions it becomes very hard to try and find a place on any type of even ground. Easy for those at the top to say do this, be this, take this, but often they are touting to a demographic that has less options, more problems, less positive reinforcement and sometimes less internal strategies encouraging strong and opposing decisions to their actual situation. Desperation does not think laterally and people feel they can't afford hope which is really fucking scary because thats a nuggety issue in a whole bigger terrifying format. NZ could really do with looking at Japan for similarities rather than UK- especially when it comes to integrating technology into society and keeping necessary practical jobs which directly influences low socio-demographic sectors and being able to have an affordable quality of life. A little shocked at that last bit? Yes, rent and some other things are high, but living, enjoying what it is to be human, in comparison to earnings- the yen stretches much much further.
Nowhere else I have travelled feels and behaves to the extreme like this. Our islands have a nasty case of small-man-syndrome. The more restrictions in place, the more people want to bend them consciously or unconsciously, and the less they work, because most peoples brains f.o.c.u.s on the restriction and not the opposite. You start to get the feeling you just can't ever get things right.. Focus on speeding and people do it more because they are subconsciously aiming on a target; make people bundle up in layers of safety gear and they think they are warrior Ghostbusters. Drivers behaviour towards the chick on the lemon bicycle with no helmet is much more wary and cautious than what they do if you are wearing a helmet (Europeans: our road user food chain is very different to you guys) Not that I rely on that- I act if everyone hasn't seen me and is going to do something irrational. Shut everything at 3am, there’s more binge drinking now than ever as people squeeze it in before closing instead of having time to boogie it off and relax, even diet- go on and on about how bad something is and the more you want it because you can SEE it in your head and you desire it MORE. With all these rigid conformities floating around I can see why people get picky at others who think for themselves, question parameters and live to their guidelines and ideals- because that is highly not encouraged… unless it brings you media recognition, when at that point- ‘CLAIM!- She/ he is a NZ’dr!’
Where once a great proportion of society would not have been exposed to the detrimental effects of an addictive behaviour, now we have not only supplied, but encouraged tapping in to an external pacifier. These can be tools to feed our brains with information for our journey if used constructively, but I wonder if people are aware or care about what too much of this drift into candy floss is doing to their thoughts and subsequently their actions and abilities to achieve goals. I foresee major social problems to arise; greater feelings of loneliness and isolation due to not honing skills of communication and interaction, mistrust of instinct and a dismissive attitude to cultivating sensory perception. An increase in feelings of having to bow to taking not quite the right path because of perceived avenues and shortcuts bringing goals; most of that flicking and swiping is not feeding information, it is passively passing through on a not so soaked up psychological level where insufficiencies rather than abundance is highlighted. I don't see that as a 100% fantastic thing- we all need to blank out for bits, but by training the brain to keep this in balance, we can encourage space for growth not stagnation. Encouragement to feed the mind with information that has relationships and focus upon goals and aspirations is essential. Learning how to deal with, manage, remove the stigma's associated and understand compulsive and addictive behaviour will be crucial for coming generations. But those apps, and that tech- man, it can be supremely beneficial if used in the right manner also, it's just that swing is dramatic and entirely up to the individual. Those of us out doing amazing things aren't watching what others are up to- we are focused on our lives and actions. Ya want superpowers?!- put down the gadgets, organise your thoughts and feelings, and tune inside and around.
Hard working New Zealander's getting on without staking a claim to a particular demographic are in some ways at a disadvantage to opportunity. Fit in a box and you are quantifiable, allocatable and bankable. Do otherwise and you can become a little snuggled up next to 'threat' territory. Brains like negative, and its very, very easy to dislike what ya don't understand.
Ego: it's a bloody interesting conundrum. Who and what I am as an artist; my work all an expression of opinion, is ego tied up in brown paper and ribbon. Or is it? Is Alexandra Murcott my ego and Moena Moxham an expression of my soul? I don't make for commerce- I make to nourish my imagination. These interesting thoughts add fuel to my enquiry of the world; they are also why I partake in sports and unusual methods of travel which require high consequential snap decisions made on realising where soul and ego are in orbit. These activities also help remove anxiety and jitters- Thought + action without overthinking because there is less space for pondering things; it's not advised to overthink doing a u-turn on a motorbike- ya look where you want to go, commit and power into it- same with my art- I make marks without apprehension- life does mighty well with the same dash of devotion to the cause. Something which can be quite easy to roll with when travelling but much more complex when back in our home surroundings with people we love and whose opinions and projections can tug us off path or undermine our security in the decisions we have chosen. I crave being out of my comfort zone, because I am intrigued about why I am there, why I behave a certain way and think it is ok, and how at a much quicker fluid pace I can trust my instincts. Plus I love rattling the cage by being uber curious as to what happens if I shake it all up.
As a community however, the way I see it, when pinnacle-ised existences, idolised individualism, media exposure as confirmation of achievement and cash-cash-money-money is prioritised we build exactly the environment we have fostered- below the gloss, and behind all the easy-going laid-back exterior it fizzes with envy, jealously and resentment. URG- look up, at and around at the paradise we inhabit and validate the bloody cool shit we have going on- as a team we need to learn better how to graciously give credit where credit is due and stop being so nit-picky. Reality is though, that the only person at the end of the day that will give you true recognition is yourself and your concept of something bigger. We control within ourselves how we want to behave with information and what we project and impose on others.
We need a reset; a wake up call, because this attitude is really, really ugly, completely pointless and counterproductive- I just hope it doesn't come to a natural disaster to do this.
On a lighter note: Here are a few other things I have learnt that keep me sane and on track when I am in the maze, may they help out when times are squiggly =^+^=
Love defines and drives everything. Her and Hate are one and the same, but Love has magic fizz that inevitably triumphs.
Be your hero. I strive to be the person I most admire by learning from the best.
Have the heart of a child but the wisdom of Grandma(pa).
I am a woman, whole, beautiful and wonderful as is. We give birth to the whole world- it is my responsibility to evolve and make good choices to become the best woman I can be.
We are all kooky and have baggage. Life's about learning to carry it without looking for a porter- inside knows the answers; sometimes this requires patience.
No-one else is creating my story, fixing my problems or will bring me the things I desire but moi. I answer to myself and my understanding of Universal power. I listen to everything.
I require validation from no-one or anything other than myself and my concept of something bigger than me.
My achievement is getting out of bed. Progression is getting out the front door.
Doesn't fit with the mainstream = good omen.
If you clinically evaluate the qualities of Creativity, all assessments will lead to insanity. Love the squiggly lines and care for those who share these traits.
I strive to be consistent and accumulative. The tortoise wins the race and the race of life is loooooog. Have courage and be kind.
I am fully responsible and deserve the whole package of what comes to me as the response to my decisions, behaviour and actions. What we dream; what we think, coupled with action becomes our reality.
Heart for direction, brain for nutting out the details.
Money is a resource not a god.
I assimilate with what makes my heart sing; there is no 'right' or 'wrong'. The faerie tales, the scriptures; the movies and stories we create and pass down through generations the world around are born from truth. Communication is the most powerful form of creation.
I am selective with what I choose to invest my time. I primarily prefer not to invest my energy into passive or unengaged activities. I'd rather be engrossed in a real relationship and cultivate the arts of engagement and communication. Tech inevitably becomes obsolete; humans don't!- instead of looking down feeding into that screen I'd rather be looking up and around in a totally different environment. Take out this stuff from your brain and it lets light and space in for muuuuch bigger concepts. Your thoughts & feelings are creating your world. Brain-fart space can still be productive :P
I believe our energy is a component of a much bigger and complex system. Through choice we can work with or against these forces. Managing ego is human job number 1 -without that in balance, it blocks all the wondrous qualities like humility, compassion, empathy, love and acceptance.
There is always someone better than me- I just get on with whatever my teeth are sunk into and if it is making me happy, brings satisfaction and contentment, and I'm not hurting others, then I have located Donkey Kong level 9. I enjoy the success of others, it spreads warm fuzzies.
Breath- it's the answer to everything.
Humans are all weird, we surround ourselves with the weirdness we can handle and tolerate and collect our own kind. I don't get pissed if something is annoying- it's a reflection of my psyche.
Everything makes ripples, and ripples collect to waves.
I strive to be satisfied and to make do with what I have, the hand I am playing and the resources I presently have available. I am grateful but I am not complacent.
Western world, society and perspective- we are a minority. Millions of people focus on trust, love, faith in something bigger than self, and enjoying existing without calculating each other as our society does- get on a plane to Asia if you don't believe me/ need to reset your existence.
We can choose love for what is wonderful or be dismissive and disgruntled for the minority that isn't.
There will always be fantasists and extremists. The more airtime given, the more power it holds. I focus on the remedies, not problems and I look for gaps. (165 kiwis died overseas last year- 0 to terrorism)
Stop watching the media, it's bullshit.
Easy goes through hard, and no-one has 'easy' all the time. I don't wish life was easier, I seek better skills and more knowledge to work within it. I completely trust my intuition.
My perspective and way of thinking has been moulded over experience for my journey and to shape and support the direction I have chosen. I respect how and why someone thinks or behaves differently because it is pertinent for who they are and where they are going. We need to think and believe in different things in order to carry out the activities and journeys we are on. Personally, I am quite happy to consider and explore options and viewpoints different to my own, even when they are personally confronting. I have learnt from testing this procedure that often I prefer the new concept or want to assimilate a component into my existing framework; I really enjoy this process. Often, worldwide, we are talking about the same things, only with different names.
My thoughts or ideas might not be 'correct' at the time, but they may be necessary to lead me onto something else or a bigger concept. I'm happy to test things out and put up my hand when I've fucked up or got something wrong- oops soz. I don't judge others for their kookiness or blips, life's a process not a collection of commodities.
I'm not going anywhere until my soul completes what it is driving me to experience and help with.
Our gifts are balanced by our individual challenges. Whatever we have been blessed with means we are going to be working through a whole different pile of nobblies.
Beautiful humans don't hatch out of an egg that way, we evolve and grow. The most powerful propulsion to wanting to be better, is often being at that point the complete opposite. We as a world now have access to every imaginable tool and piece of information to up-skill and feed our brains; watch how the world will change: 'third world' souls + desire + propulsion for change + the burn of feeling marginalised + grateful recognition of opportunity + tenacity = revolution. It is the most desperate that have the potential to become the most powerful if they so choose.
Change is the only constant; from mindset to actions, to trends, relationships and the environment. I am baffled how human arrogance sticks to rigid systems. Like why would we think our climate wouldn't evolve like we do- there are more of us than ever doing and using things like never before? That the seasons would stick to a calendar that we wrote over Nature; that once what was 'right' forever is? We can confirm planets with habitable atmospheres and know the image we have received is squillion years old, and yet people can be adamant we are 'the one'...umm shit can get furry reaaalll quiiick- it don't take 100's of years; whats grown in the meantime?!.. + we are built to explore, not stay on ship. I wonder what is looking at us (I'd be hiding too). Human evolution theory doesn't equate for the development of consciousness- fixated on the outside?, perhaps this virus is the alien? Perhaps we are 'infecting' each other with more of this? The media goes on and on about using resources and doesnt focus on the fact we make and discover new ones. Humming on about the negative doesn't fix it, it actually just makes more of it- enjoy the positive aspect (yes, we are allowed to) and get in and actively affect what tugs our personal story and abilities. Yep, things are different, but there are great things about this too; the climate in my hometown is bloody wonderful comparably- I know, this isn't great, but we have to roll with the punches now, and a person who is angry, discontent and negative is not empowered to get moving and helping.
Change whether personal or environmental starts with a desire to want to do better and encouragement to action a good choice- we must find a way to promote more of this and less panic if we want to influence people in feeling confident to make and support new decisions. There is no question we have change within our weather and environments and this is radically and detrimentally effecting our habitat. The problem is huge- it's at global corporation level- but this is like voting- if you don't do it, you might as well hold your opinion about it, so I am active in doing my fair share. Individual humans can have an effect on mass to the supply and demand of the commodities which are produced using fossil fuels. Ya'll this is about addressing major problems with greed and complacency- gnarly and complicated knots to untangle aint they. We will look back at this time in history as The Age of Fear- it's crippling people into not moving. We have the freedom of choice to buy into this or not but this takes courage- fear doesn't empower- 99% of this is crap in wrapping when ya get up and close, personal like and inspect- plus we can only start by inspecting what hits us (nosey). Start; just start- as long as it's positive and productive it doesn't matter how small or whether anyone else is or isn't doing it. My culture is so supremely blessed with a tool that is the most valuable resource on the planet: choice- I use it.
And the biggest one: Never ever, ever, ever give up; build for your vision; our ideas are special to us and our timing. It doesn't matter what didn't work yesterday, that is not now. Now, we are 12 hours wiser and connecting the dots with that additional knowledge. We have never before attacked finding solutions with the formula we have right now; none of us have been alive right now before, which also dispels anyone pooping the party, what do they know about your dots that you don't?
If your interest is ticked in wanting to view a fascinating and honest doco about climate change cruise your eyeballs here.
The Great Degustation
what I leave behind
concoctions mimicked and generated with
that paint and create with brutal clinical efficiency
Our brains are so special
in being able to procure and
like multicoloured gymnasts twirling ribbon batons
our colours of value
Ideas are Divine
The older I get the more I let go
The more I love
The words I script and stain onto paper a mark
The lines I carve on
more fragile in my brain than in
but that is my scratching
Physically present in a
Superseded by the power of
in vibrant HD
I sense your complexities
can share your perspective
as you manipulate mine
talking them over
transferring their weight
caressing them through articulation between us
so the prickles
Powerful invisible creations
Stretched and morphed like
flour to dough
Change to nourishment
Share for growth
Gods in Converse
Those monsters growing in the
dark corridors of conscious
along the skirting boards around confidence
The cleaners come through;
only naughty tykes under the hall lamp
Colossus they seem when
in the fringes
seeping and shifting
morphing and moving
My badge embroidered on coveralls
ready for splatters
Master Utilities Janitor
Dressed in our best
bow ties and chiffon
OUTrageous, highly flammable,
we sit enraptured by the presentation before us
the Hall dark and long
one door in front and one behind
cooked to perfection
a lifetime to consume
we start one delectable
at a time
Time has taken charge of passion
the taste is no longer appealing
and only so little
we have made
flies coming to rest on the kill
Doubt and questioning buzzing with
Rising as steam from fresh slaughter
Must get the job done.
Youngans with a taste for Elephant
The fanfare orchestrated by the
complex and limitless
A salubrious opus
composed for a lifetime of living
What is influential when all is accessible
explode in a shower of colour spectacularly
don’t you know you meet everyone twice
Methods of perception
many more than 5
the last bastion
of an intimate personal frontier
Make for your mind
see her tassels swing,
my Elephant prefers
Valuable modern commodity
Her bikini shots and selfies
to relationships built in the
The procession of best dressed
with ties Absent With Out Leave and
knickers hitched; dresses askew
Padding barefoot and
Definition really is of no consequence
Eyes to the front not behind
with virtue and steel
Undoing knots with
and playfulness that no automation
Eat the elephant